Onyx came into my life way back in 1988, which was the year that I really got into Tracy Chapman and her song “Fast Car”. We got her along with Phoenix at the Hawaiian Humane Society and they were my very first cats.
The Human Society had three rooms. There was a room for the adult cats, a room for the adolescent cats, and a room for the kittens. We first went into the adolescent room and that was where Phoenix plopped himself on my lap. He seemed to say, “Okay. I’m ready to go.” So I took that to heart and took him home.
Before I went home though, I decided I really wanted a black cat. Now please understand that I had never really owned pets before and I was completely inexperienced in the choosing of them. So all I did was walk into the kitten room and scoop up a black kitten and walk right back out. I didn’t even check to see if the kitten was male or female. All I can say to that is I was only 16 years old and not a very smart one at that!
That’s the story of how Onyx came into my life.
It’s a miracle that she became the perfect companion for me, but she did. She never complained if I stayed out all night. She never criticized my taste in music or in men. (Well, maybe in the men.) She was always there for me to cuddle or to cry on when life got a little hard. All she ever asked was to be near me.
Yesterday, Onyx passed away in my arms at the vet’s office. It was very peaceful and very quick. I’m comforted in the fact that she did not suffer any indignities or pain, but the fact remains that there is a hole in my heart and in my life that may never truly be filled again with her gone.
I go through phases where it doesn’t seem like she’s gone quite yet. That maybe she’s just in another room. Then there are moments when it hits me like a brick wall and the grief is overwhelming. She’s been a part of my life for so long, (nearly half my life) that I can’t hardly imagine life without her.
It helps to think of her finally reunited with Phoenix and to think that the two of them are waiting for me there at Rainbow Bridge. Until then though, I will sorely miss her and I know that nothing and no one will ever replace her in my heart.
Rest in peace, baby.
November 29th, 2007 at 8:15 am
Oh Opal, if I were there I’d give you a huge hug. I’m so sorry for your loss.
November 29th, 2007 at 8:41 am
Oh, Opal, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you were with her when she went. It sounds like you had a good life together.
November 29th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Awe. (wipes tears from monitor)
What a loving tribute to your great friend. She will be missed.
Go in peace Onyx.
I promise to call so you will eat.
Big hugs.
November 29th, 2007 at 9:03 am
Oh, Opal. The tears won’t stop. I am so, so sorry about Onyx. I know how much you loved her. My heart aches for you. Please, please accept my sincerest condolences and sympathy. I will be thinking of you during this difficult time. There are so many of us who absolutely understand how you feel and what you are going through. Reach out when you need us. That’s what we are here for. Be comforted in the fact the she is reunited with Phoenix. They will await your arrival, just as Wolfie will await mine. God bless you, dear, sweet Opal.
November 29th, 2007 at 9:21 am
Opal, I’m so sorry to hear about Onyx! Our furry friends sure do leave holes in our hearts. ((hugs))
November 29th, 2007 at 9:32 am
I’m so sorry. I hope you will be OK.
November 29th, 2007 at 9:35 am
I’m so sorry about Onyx. It’s amazing how such a small being can grab onto your heart so strongly.
November 29th, 2007 at 9:41 am
Oh … that’s sad, I know. But I bet they would be watching over you … and would still be there for you. Take care.
November 29th, 2007 at 10:07 am
What a beautiful kitty she was! I’m sorry for the loss of your friend.
(Believe it or not, Hannah just wandered in, hopped on my lap, peered closely at the monitor, and mrowled at the picture of Onyx on the screen.)
November 29th, 2007 at 10:17 am
Opal, I am so sorry for your loss.
The length of Onyx’s life is a testament to your loving care and the quality of life that you gave her. Not all animals are so lucky. Nor are most humans as lucky as to be raised by such a good cat. But she raised you well and that is a testament to what kind of cat she was. It’s not easy for them to raise us, ya know.
The hole will never heel, but it will ache less with time. Please remember that while you get through these first few weeks, and remember that you are not alone. Onyx is still with you as she lives on in your memory and your heart. And a lot of us understand what you are going through. Some of us are just steps behind you and Onyx on the path to the Rainbow Bridge.
Off to hold Precious against her will now, but not for too long. She raised me right, after all. We are sending love and the hope that you find some peace soon.
♥
November 29th, 2007 at 10:32 am
I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing pets is SO hard. I think we forget that they won’t live as long as we do, especially when it seems like they’ve always been there.
Our Jingle is 18 years old next month. I am afraid her kidneys are failing, but I hate to take her in to the vet. I’m scared he’ll tell me it is time to say goodbye…
I’ll share with you something Baby Boy said when he was little. We had to take one of our cats in to be put to sleep on a Saturday morning in July, when my cell phone rang on the way to the vet’s office. It was the hospice. My mom, who had been sick for quite awhile, was unconscious and non-responsive. This was likely the end. Could I come right away? In tears, I dropped the cat off and hotfooted it out of the office, leaving Munchkin to die alone, a fact I am not proud of. I was afraid if I didn’t leave her then, I would never be able to.
Days later, after the memorial service for my mother, Nick turned to me and said, “Don’t be sad Mommy. I’m glad Munchkin is in heaven. Now Grandma will have a cat waiting for her. She wouldn’t be happy without one.”
Out of the mouths of babes…
Willl hold you in prayer.
November 29th, 2007 at 10:32 am
Opal, I’m sorry to hear about Onyx, but how wonderful she was a part of your life for so long. We also had an 18-year-old Siamese that we had to put down after she developed jaw cancer. This was almost 2 years ago, and I still see her. For a long time, I seriously started believing in ghost kitty. She was a very sweet cat, but she was prone to hairballs…and left evidence all over the carpet throughout her life. After she was gone, we had the carpets thoroughly cleaned. And out of the blue, I’d find another hairball…in an area that I KNOW was thoroughly cleaned. It sounds weird, but I welcome her hauntings and any memories that I have of her. And, I have lots. With nearly 20 years with Onyx, I hope that you have many many many happy memories, too. Take care of yourself.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:22 am
I’m sending hugs your way — I’m so sorry you had to let her go. You gave her a good life, though, which is wonderful, and I’m sure she appreciated it in her own cat way.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:24 am
Oh no Opal, I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how you feel, but I know I’m crying just from reading this! I hope that you are ok and will feel better soon.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:25 am
I’m so, so sorry, Opal. I wish there was something I could do or say to help you through this heartbreaking time. I know how much you cared for and loved Onyx.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:41 am
my sweet, I am so sorry to hear of your loss- seems like lots of knitters are losing their pets recently – my heart goes out to you
if there’s anything we can do, please let us know.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:49 am
I am so sorry for your loss.
November 29th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
I’m so sorry. Onyx was such a beautiful cat with such a sweet face!
November 29th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
{{{{Opal}}}}
Sending you big hugs for your sad loss.
Heading off to hug Buzz, very much against his will.
November 29th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Oh Opal….I’m SO sorry, I know that pain and wished I could give you a big hug and tell you it’ll all be okay. Please know my thoughts are with you…
November 29th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about Onyx. *manyhugs*
November 29th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Oh, Opal… I’m so sorry. Hugs and comfort to you.
November 29th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Oh, that’s so awful. Our pets are with us for such a short time. Remember the good times you had with her, and that you enriched her life as much as she yours.
November 29th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
I’m so sorry to hear that Onyx has passed. I know she is free of pain and worry, and getting as many treats as she wants and waiting patiently for you.
November 29th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
She was beautiful.
She was faithful.
She was the friend of a lifetime.
She was yours.
Hoping your memories of her and knowing you gave her such a wonderful home give you comfort.
Love and hugs!
November 29th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Opal – I’m so very sorry. I know how hard it is to let a loved pet go. No matter how peaceful it was, it is hard for those left behind. Hugs and comfort to you.
November 29th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
I’m so sorry to hear that. It is a small comfort to know she didn’t suffer…
November 29th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
It’s times like these where words just don’t do justice. Just know you have friends who love you and are here for you. I hope you still come to Aloha Knitters tonight because I miss you, but I understand if you don’t make it. Take care of yourself and be gentle to yourself – pamper yourself. Hugs.
November 29th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
opal, i’m so sorry for your loss….i hope it was comforting for you both to spend her last moments together and peacefully….take care….
November 29th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
Dear Opal,
I can’t express how sorry I am for your loss. I hope all those wonderful years you shared with her will sustain you until you both see each other again. I think it was a blessing that she left this world without pain and in the arms of someone she loved. I know she’s sending you love and comfort along with the rest of us so take extra care of yourself. Hugs!
November 29th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
Opal, I knew where this was going from the title and I started to tear up for you. I’m so sad for you loss, it’s so hard to lose a constant companion and best friend like Onyx. If it’s any comfort, she’s got lots of good buddies to hang out with at the bridge and she just my Jaxon’s type!
Here’s a hug (((((((Opal))))))) I’m sending you thoughts of comfort and peace.
You know my Dad will have been gone a year in 12 days and I still expect him to walk in my front door, it’s so hard to believe the ones we so love are gone…
November 30th, 2007 at 12:09 am
Words can’t convey the sorrow I feel for you. Get another kitten–I did when my Ogre died and it helped divert the grief.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:58 am
Like Debi, I also felt the tears well up and uttered the words, “oh no!” They fall hot down my cheeks as I write this. Dear Opal, I’m sorry your darling girl is gone from your home. She will ALWAYS be in your heart.
I think she’s probably meowing her greetings to Lenny, Elvis and Sylvia who had gone on before. She is not alone and neither are you.
*hugs*
November 30th, 2007 at 1:58 am
I am so very sorry to hear about Onyx. I know she had a terrific life with you. I know your pain of thinking she is in another room and then the realization that she is not. You are a wonderful mom, I am very sad for your loss and I will be thinking of you.
November 30th, 2007 at 4:28 am
Oh honey, I’m so sorry :( Jade and I send major condolences, strength and hope. Where would we be without our animals? No one else loves us unconditionally.
I’m thinking of you – hugs…
November 30th, 2007 at 8:42 am
What a sweet baby she was…
Opal, I know there’s a sweet blonde bombshell who met Onyx at the Rainbow Bridge…she took her “in paw” and is helping her learn her way around the place while they wait for you and me to join them.
Onyx is in good company, you can be sure.
And I’m sending you tons and tons of Hugs all the way across the miles…
Be comforted my friend.
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
November 30th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
So sorry to hear of your loss! Words just can’t convey my sympathies. May you always have good memories of your furry felind friend.
I am sending you hugs and warm fuzzies to help you get through this.
November 30th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
I’m so sorry Opal. Onyx was such a beauty, I loved seeing photos of her. Sometimes I wish they could live forever…
December 1st, 2007 at 4:08 am
Sorry to hear of your loss, Opal. It may be small consolation now, but I know that Onyx had the best life because of you picking her out and taking her home.
December 1st, 2007 at 9:51 am
She really was a lucky kitty. How wonderful for her that she found a human to lobe her so deeply. Hugs are being sent your way.
December 1st, 2007 at 3:14 pm
It’s a funny thing, this life.
How lucky was that black kitten to be playing in the kittens room and being hand-picked by a sixteen year old girl who would go on to love her and care for her and give her wonderful quality of life she had and then take the time to pay her respects to the memory in such a poignant way.
Thanks for doing that for the cat. And thanks for sharing it with us.
December 1st, 2007 at 10:29 pm
Oh no, Opal. The tears are flowing here, and there’s no way words could ever express what I’d like to say to you. You know that I’ve been through the exactly same thing last month, and it’s ever so hard, so terribly hard. You know, since Lady passed, I strongly believe in the Rainbow Bridge – there was a little dog in the vet’s office when we let her go, and about two or three seconds after her little heart stopped beating, that dog gave the saddest and most compassionate whimper I’ve ever heard. That was when I realized and knew that the little soul was leaving, but also that the little soul was still there, getting ready for its way over the Rainbow Bridge. Your little Onyx went there too, and there’s no doubt that she’ll be ever so happily playing with all the other cats there – and imagine, she’s young again now, she can run around as much as she pleases, playing and enjoying neverending warmth and beauty. And you know, she did the best possible thing with her life: She lived her life so that there’s a person (you) or even more persons and other animals, that won’t ever forget her, that’ll keep her in their hearts forever. And isn’t that what it’s all about? Being remembered forever?
You gave her the most beautiful life that she could have asked for – and believe me, she will wait for you at the Rainbow Bridge, I’m ever so sure about that.
A big, big hug to you, my dear friend!
December 2nd, 2007 at 5:42 am
I am sure that you can hear Onyx saying:
…Grieve not,
nor speak of me with tears,
but laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you…
I loved you so
’twas Heaven here with you.
—Isla Paschal Richardson
December 2nd, 2007 at 11:04 am
I am sitting here with big wai maka…. losing a beloved pet is so difficult, and the grief is overwhelming at times. I lost my beloved parakeet `Anuenue last November, though it hardly seems possible it’s been that long. Even sitting here thinking about him I am crying.
I know that Onyx loved you, and had a wonderful home with you. I am so sorry for your loss….
December 2nd, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Opal, I’m so so sorry for your loss. It’s great to know that you had such a good time together all these years.
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:48 am
Oh no, I’m so sorry Opal! Onyx was obviously a wonderful friend.
December 3rd, 2007 at 10:11 am
I am so sorry to read about the loss of your friend, Opal. Losing a furry friend is hard, especially when you have so much history. I wish I could give you a hug. I am sending positive thoughts to you from CT.
December 3rd, 2007 at 5:48 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about Onyx. I know you have a hole in your heart right now. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
December 5th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Opal, so so sad to hear about Onyx’s departure. I think giving up your pets is as hard as saying goodbye to a member of your family. Onyx is really lucky to have been rescued by someone who loved her so much and gave her such a good life. Hugs to you, my friend.
December 5th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Wish I could be there to give you a hug. Can’t believe Onyx is gone.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Rest well, sweet Onyx. x
December 14th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
Oh, I am so sorry to hear about Onyx. I can only imagine the big hole in your heart… but I am so very glad that you had so many years together.